5 years. reminds me of that björk song.


Til after five years
If you'll live that long
You'll wake up
All loveless

I said 6 years. I've always been extremely uncomfortable around people but it didn't really develop any further until middle school. I think a prominent contributor to becoming a recluse is my "BDD". I did manage to go off to college, but it's a nightmare being around not only so many people, but so many unfamiliar people. I think about dropping out often, but the idea of going home is even worse. My family just lost the house we've been living in for 15 years, and moved into a very, very, small very cramped, very miserable place. At least here at college I have a cubby hole to go crawl in, but at home I don't even have my own bed anymore. My parents divided up my furniture when we moved; I sleep on my grandma's old piss-stained, lumpy bed.

10,5 years (ever since I dropped high-school).

I think I started being reclusive while being in junior high
that was approximately 10 years ago

6 years for me, ever since I had my license suspended and couldn't go hang out with the assholes I put effort into getting along with.

May I ask what your license was suspended for? DUI?

I've been reclusive for about four years but I've been a recluse for about 2.5 years.

Heh, funny you ask because how this story unfolded was far more convoluted than you can imagine.

Age 19, relying heavily on drugs and alcohol to socialize with my peers, I am arrested for underage drinking at a shitty little house party that gets busted up.

The penalty is just a ticket for underage drinking, I plead no contest in court and fined about $100 and am required to attend a mandatory substance-abuse class(similar to being sentenced to traffic school).

This class was scheduled approximately 3 months after the date I am sentenced. 2 months later I receive a letter informing that the date for this class has been pushed back 6 whole months.

So 3-4 months later I get arrested for a DUI. The following 2 months are hell - 8 separate court appearances, $7k in court and lawyer fees, attending drug counseling, etc...

This whole time, my license is suspended automatically until I'm either found guilty(receiving the 2 year suspension) or charges dropped(get my license back). Due to me refusing to take the breathilyzer at the police station on the night I was arrested, the prosecution didn't have sufficient evidence to convict me, so they offered me a plea bargain to drop the dui charges if I plead guilty to resisting arrest(20 hours community service).

So, I take that and am anxiously waiting for my letter from the state returning my license to me. I wait 8 long weeks and was ecstatic when I saw the letter from the secretary of the state sitting in my mailbox. I eagerly open it to find out that I had failed to attend that stupid substance abuse class I was sentenced to 8 months prior. In all the chaos ensuing my dui debacle, I had completely forgotten about it.

So for that, I was charged with a one year DL suspension.

About four and a half years, after high school.

Wow, thanks for sharing.
I know in some states, just refusing a breathalyzer is an automatic
6 month license suspension.

I can very much relate to using alcohol and drugs to help in coping
with school and peers. I was forced into rehab as a minor, and was
made to attend alcohol and drug counseling as well.
Some guys I met in group sessions were on their 3rd and 4th DUI's, with
license suspensions ranging from 5-15 years.

I've been living pretty reclusive since I graduated from university last summer (that's nearly a year). I'm unemployed and I only go outside once a week to buy groceries and sometimes to visit my family. But even when I was at university, I would only go outside for classes. If you count that period as well, it would be 7 years or so.

i'd thought i had answered this. i've been reclusive for around nine years now.
as a child and teen i was painfully shy, so i didn't have many friends to begin with. i stopped hanging out with almost everyone i knew at twenty one due to drama i didn't care to be involved in any longer. by twenty two i had one friend of my own i spoke to about once every week. this time of my life was pretty dark, i'd had a nervous breakdown and honestly don't remember much. when i came out of it around twenty three i made some freinds online but as usual drama happened and i wasn't welcome in various places there anymore. when i met my husband and things became serious my once a week freind stopped returning my calls, and i just stopped trying to both make friends and giving a shit in the first place. maybe in another country where the social expectations are different i'd may fit in and try again. that is if i ever get to move in the first place.
the story of my life is that americans don't like me. i'm reserved and quiet, i'm not a likable person, and i find most social situations to be insincere when not patronizing. i fear allowing people to come into my current life and muddy the clear waters.

I've been reclusive most of my life. I have fleeting memories of a social childhood. However it was so long ago I'm not sure if they are either real memories or implanted by the television. I had a bit where I ran away with a guy for two years but I was too socially awkward to make it work. Now I pretty much just given up on trying. I don't really know why I even bother to post messages on the internet.

You should, it's horrible just bottling everything up inside. The great thing about the internet is you can take or leave it as much as you want too, you're not required to make a comment in every topic or answer every question put to you. Just as much as you're comfortable with.

I would say about eight years. My problems with socialising started before that but I still managed to do things. But eight years ago, when I started high school, things got much worse. Despite many things happening and many different circumstances that have been since then, life has not been or become much better social-wise.

It's been about 10 years for me, even as a child I had few friends, I simply went to school came home and stayed in the house the rest of the day, and throughout the weekend.
As I got older it only got worse. Now at 19, I've never had a job, haven't attended college, and spend most my time inside, with the exception of jogging 4 miles a day outside, which only takes an hour. I would be close to a hikikomori if it weren't for that daily jog o_o .

19 is still a very young age. There are plenty people at that age who haven't had jobs yet. I'm in the same age group and I think you seem like like a stand up guy. Being a recluse doesn't make you any less of a good person

I'm not a recluse, but I have reclusive tendencies when I am depressed. I also have anxiety issues. It's totally the opposite of who I am so my mental health really makes me distraught and lost.

Thanks Althe . That cheered me up quite a bit right now, unconsciously I always did relate being a recluse to meaning I was less than other people, since that's the
outlook most outgoing people have on recluses.

It sounds pretty conflicting , especially since you seem like a cheerful person and I remember you saying you were an extrovert in another topic so that
must really add to the confliction :/ . I may be new here but feel free to message me and vent anytime when you get depressed, that goes for any member here as well.

Since middle school I suppose. It has just always been a part of my personality. I grew up in a small town and the subdivision is about a mile away from the main town. It made it really difficult to casually hang out with other people. Once I got internet there wasn't any real reason to go out and hang out with people. For a while people would come by and ask if I wanted to go out but I never did and they gave up. I got pretty addicted to a MMORPG until I was banned for trolling really hard. After highschool I moved in with friends for a short period but was pressured to go to college due to health insurance reasons and family expectations. I just worked and attended online school until I decided to transfer to a real uni. I spent that time in the dorms but besides dorm mates and a girlfriend and her friends I did not have much of a network. After uni I moved in with a friend living in a bigger city but spent most my free time in doors. It's just my personality and public places, events, and people are energy vampires to me.

I picked 3.5 years, because before my ex, all I did was go to school, come home, go to the gym for a work out or to play a hand-held game, and then back home. Upon meeting my ex, we went out, parties, clubs, malls, all over the place. And then after her I got back into the same routine, except for going places after I leave school, pretty much just home for the rest of the day.

same sh!t here (my ex is a b!tch) i always wanted to say that

Your not the only one. So glad to kick her to the curb. More money in my pocket, more time to think and nagging about me being in the house too much. That's why they're called exs, they were b!tcheshes to begin with.

damn right! it took me awhile to recover but once you figure out that theres more optionz.....you walk away laughin' like it aight no THANG thats right THANG not thing thing is played out

recluse or shut in? for as long as i can remember ive always been reclusive in nature. i became a shut in during 2006.

One more month for 4 whole years! Whooo!