Are you currently suicidal?

From the time I was 18, I was 21 I was a highly suicidal person. These days I'm not suicidal at all -- I'm not entirely sure as to why, but think that most of it had to do with me being able to "accept" myself.

I think about it quite often.

I've been suicidal since I was 12.

Yes, but i'd want to go out 'my way', on my terms if you will, so that's what's holding it up. Mainly.

Throughout high school and college I used to consider suicide all the time (never made any full-fledged attempts, but there were a few times when I probably would have if I hadn't found someone to talk to). Then, the girl that I was dating at the time (long-distance) tried to kill herself, and because I was hundreds of miles away there was nothing I could do to stop her... Fortunately she ended up surviving, but the several hours when I thought she might be dead were the worst feeling I've ever experienced. Since then, I realized that I would never want to put the people I care about through that, so I no longer consider suicide an option.

Even so, I can't banish the idea from my mind completely. When I'm under a lot of stress I still find the phrase "I want to kill myself" popping into my head... but it's just words now. I can't imagine actually trying to carry it out unless things got much, much worse.

This. But I wouldn't do it, I just think about it every now and then. Used to think about it a lot more back in elementary school and highschool when I was alone. Basically, my girlfriend pretty much saved me in terms of everything.

Not at the moment. And I hope the feeling will never occur again.

From the ages of 16-18, I was hospitalized twice, both for failed suicide attempts.
Both times I landed in ICU, then to a locked mental ward. The look in my Mother's
eyes waking up in the hospital that 2nd time is something permanently ingrained
into memory. I vowed to never put her through that again. The guilt I feel
is as strong now as it was back then.

Do I wish myself dead on occasion? Absolutely. Sometimes often.
But I won't ever put someone I love through something like that ever again.

My mom is my source of strength. Whenever I am seriously suicidal, the moment I think of her I feel an urge to stop those negative thoughts. I don't ever want to see her suffer again, after witnessing my father's suicide.

Death scares me too much, i dont even want to think about it, im more worried about my mom because i think she is in some kind of suicide phase at the moment.
I hope for nobody here to make suicide, life is very tough but as long as there is hope, and there is, we need to be strong

No, I'm not suicidal, I've always been really scared of death, also I wouldn't kill myself as long as I feel like there's someone who need me just a little bit.

I had a lot of thoughts about "disappearing forever" since I was a child. But I don't want seeing my mom suffer. She cared very much about me and is very lovely to me. Though I don't deserve it... =/

I used to think that way. Years ago, I had recurring depression issues and even thought about suicide though I never actually attempted anything. I didn't see a lot of point in doing so and was too scared to hurt myself in any way. My life really sucked and still does today but I've matured a lot since then and I don't believe in resorting to that kind of thing anymore. As long as there's some kind of hope for you, there's still a reason to live.

I have never understood suicide or suicidal feelings. I've never felt suicidal in my life or even really thought about it. I would never put my family, friends and relatives through something like that, no matter how bad my life was.

i've thought about suicide a LOT.

different ways to kill myself, and which ones would ensure my death.

but i always think about how my mother would feel having to put another one of her children in the ground. how would she feel to have another one of her children kill themselves?

and then i just could never do it.

i've never attempetd it but i've thought about it a lot, like how i would do it, but i don't think i ever could go through with it. i feel like it would be making a joke of myself somehow. in school i was always ridiculed, and i actually had a few people tell me i should kill myself. it's like if i actually did it i would be playing into the hands of all those people who treated me so badly. i don't want them to be able to get a last laugh off of my death.

I remember wishing to die when I was about 8 years old. I don't remember why. I've wished to die many times since then.

I think about it often enough, usually when I'm just having too many pains. I have swollen discs in my neck and a knee that won't bend properly. When much gets added to that, I get the death wish. My partner has been warned that I would choose suicide over long-term suffering.

It's really strange, in my case. Apart from these 2 physical problems, life is mostly pretty good for me. My marriage is blissful. Stress is mostly a thing from the past (excepting the periodic stress of relocation, due to my partner's job. BUT, that stress is probably less than the stress of being sick of being in one place too long).

However, it is interesting to note, I threw my back out Monday morning, yet I've had no suicidal thoughts at all. I think it is because I am engaged in other activities that aren't much affected by the pain in my back. And the back slows me down, so I'm not reminded of the knee. Mostly though, it's the fact I'm doing some interesting projects (in the process, learning Python).

I m not really suicidal anymore, it might come back though. I really hate the fact that I have a family who would probably be affected, even though the rest of the time it doesn t seem like they care at all, it s like they care when it comes to the inconvenient times.

But my dad is suicidal, not sure if he would really do it. I wouldn t mind if he did though, it might be for the best.

I was deeply suicidal & nearly did kill myself once, until I started meds in 2007. Then the depression basically disappeared for a while. I still get incredibly suicidal at times, though, now. In fact, just a month or two ago, I was. My mom was very ill in the hospital & I was afraid of losing her & of being homeless, among other things. At this exact moment, I'm not feeling suicidal at all, but I can't say how I'll feel even a week or two from now.

a bunch of flowers for everyone's mom (or "mum" as its spelt in my language). it sounds as though, without realising it, they give people a reason to hold on even in the darkest of times when everything else is shit.

I don't know if I could be called suicidal, but I often have a death wish.
I long for it, but I couldn't tell whether I'm really capable of executing it unless I did it.
Sometimes I ponder about how to do it for hours, or browse the web, and am scared about the lack of knowledge of people on the subject.
However, I even fail at failing, so I can't even die properly.
What hurts the most is really seeing people live when they want to live, die when they want to die, do what they want to do; while being able to do nothing myself, being surpassed and left behind in every regard.
So I think even dying is better than doing nothing.
Also seeing people commit suicide who have way less or similar issues than me makes me feel quite guilty for not doing it.
Or people making remarks about how they would kill themselves under certain circumstances similar to mine.

Very, I have done nothing since I started my new medicine 4 days ago other than lay in bed, eat a little, browse the internet a little, and listen to the same song. I'm also very disconnected at times and everything has an unreal feeling to it. I wouldn't kill myself though because I have to many responsibilities and people that need or care about me.

That, and I don't believe in it.

On the plus side, I did find the inspiration to write a poem, about death.

Deaths kiss

Oh, how I wish
Death would bless me with her kiss.

To see the other side
Go for the final ride

Leaving would be bliss
This world I will not miss

From death I'll never hide
I'll rush right to her side

Consciousness, fade away
Come for me, this I pray

Why am I here?
In this world I fear

Come out and play
I wish not to stay

Death, please come here
My prayer is sincere

Aphrodisiac, out of interest - what song?

Lovely day, by Ayria.

Here are some of the lyrics......

"I've been listening to this song for hours
And my head aches but that doesn't stop me
It keeps repeating and now my eyes burn
They have turned red
And I do this to myself
I should get out
But there is nowhere to go on a Tuesday night
This restless feeling
There is no cure for
So I wait

It's a lovely day
To never feel this way again
And will I ever find
Someone who understands my mind?
I don't think so
It's just a sea of faces and vacant stares
And they will never be in this place again

I have your number
But I won't call it
I fear rejection more than being alone
I'm almost nauseous
Maybe I'm dying?
Over dramatic, but that's what happens
When you have too much time to think about the end
The lights look blurry now
And the cars pass by me on an energetic street
That I have no part of

It's a lovely day
To never feel this way again
And will I ever find
Someone who understands my mind?
I don't think so
It's just a sea of faces and vacant stares
And they will never be in this place again

I will wait for you to find me
But I know you never will
I will seek to you to save me
But I know you never will
I will try to regain passion
But I'm faltering
I will try to overcome this
But I'm overwhelmed again

Lovely day
Feel this way
Lovely place
Never feel this way"

Anything is possible with time. In ten years time, Obama could become the next Hitler. Things aren't always going to be the same tomorrow.

Life is just really shitty like that, ya know?

But 4 real, I doubt I would even have the motivation to do that. lol