Yeah, for me pretty much the same.
Although still hard, but not the hardest task for me to get a job, the hardest thing is to get rid of the obsessive desire to grab your things and escape right in the middle of the working day, at the first couple of months

Well, i don't know if this counts as a change...

I made a blog.

good stuff dream

Thanks kooke!

Of course any opinion, criticism or advice is heartfully asked and encouraged .

That's a worthy candidate for your time. I look forward to reading some more

Thanks! .

I actually already translated a few of them, but i think today i will make another translation and that will be the second entry.

That reminds me, I need to work on my various websites. Not keep playing video games.

Reposting this since it seems to have been lost -



I think I've taken the first steps lately. It's quite clear to me lately how and why I should move forward, but breaking old ways of thinking and having the courage to live as I feel are difficult steps. It's just a big constant challenge to keep my head quiet and to live the emotional life.



I've been crying a lot and just realizing what a horrible waste my life has been. It's just so sad and pathetic really. I look back at how things might have been and see so much opportunity lost. Lots of fears and misery over nothing and to no end.



I feel guilty for being a terrible and self-centered person. My life is devoid of meaningful emotional connections with friends and family. I believe my future is too difficult to handle alone and I want to learn how to not be alone. I also strive to enjoy life, because our time here is short and opportunities we have are fleeting.

All I ever do is attempt to change my life. It's making me sick.

I've done this before, oh boy, am i weak... That and turning around half way there, or almost there too...

I've even turned back and never went there again, so many explanations on the phone...

The cleaning the room thing is one thing to help lighten the atmosphere......So that's a step forward.
The taking sedatives in order to not feel like I'm going to unwillingly kill myself isn't helping...So that's back a step!
I'm going to see a psychologist within the next week or two so that's good..But I can't count it until I've actually gone.

You should post pictures of the clean room. Or a before/after if possible. Keeping progress with things on here may help and would give us (me) something interesting to look at.

I always try to make it better whenever I can. saying it is harder than doing it of course since we can't always just get or do what we want, how we want to but... thats the idea.

I should have taken pictures before hand. I'll take a picture once it's completely done though.

I started exercising for the first time in a longgg time. I was on the air force site looking at some of the cool stuff when I found a beginners eight week work out they give to prepare you for basic. So I'm giving it a shot.

If it would be possible, would you mind posting that in here or something? i'm quite interested in it as well, got a lot of time i'm already wasting anyway .

this right here

I hope you find it rather helpful too.

I almost do this on a daily basis now. I hate my job, but it was tolerable before I started hating my supervisor. Now I have to fight the urge to just walk out all day. I've walked out of call center jobs before - I think twice - and I also walked out and never came back when I worked at Pizza Hut in high school. Oh, and that time I worked at Swiss Chalet for only five hours, . I think what we need are jobs that we want to escape to and not from.

Thanks! I sure will! .

I don't particularly like the military, but i think this might be useful. Also, i'm totally going to read this in Gunnery Sgt. Hartmann's voice .



So true . You know, i have no idea how i am going to manage myself in a work, more than anything in the assistance stuff, since sometimes when i'm depressed i don't/can't deal with that sort of things for days sometimes .

I'm trying to change my life for about 4 or 5 months now, but success is very tight-fisted. I had some success here and there, mostly regarding interaction with - and maybe views about other people. I am wondering lately if janitor wouldn't be a good job for me, but I have no idea where I could get that kind of job.
All I know right now is that I can not do this kitchen montage crap any longer, my back is gonna break someday. I already feel like an old man.

I was into training and workouts again after the first month but now my elbow is sore due to overuse for about two months. -_-
- no success.

-
No junk food
No coffee
No white refined sugar
No cranking the shank
No sleeping in clothes

+
began:
exercising
hygiene
reading
eating healthy (to my knowledge) foods
honest self-assesment
past examination
mentally preparing to leave my den

I'm trying to change my life. It's an uphill terrifying battle.

I'm trying to do creative things like writing.

I think I'm getting a house partially under my name soon.

Holy crap I might actually kind of own a house.