Really? It seems more simple and defined than other relationships to me.

I can see why, but there's something so formal and binding about it...a lot of pressure. Maybe it's because I don't have much experience with relationships, so I don't really have an informed opinion.


Ack, awkward >.< Just like when my mum sometimes says "when you have kids of your own" and I'm just like "er, mum."

On the outside, yes. On the inside, no.



Excluding the strikedthrough, this is totally me.



, if only the italic would have been there in the first place it would have been a lot funnier .

How so?




Ha, I must've missed that one. Usually I like my italics and that was definitely an italics moment

I'm engaged, so yes. The actual wedding part scares the shit out of me though. Organising it all and then having to participate in the actual event is almost enough to put me off going through with it at all. I'm thinking of just changing my name and title as an alternative so I don't have to deal with any of that shit.

I guess that for us (as in, people who haven't experienced much in themes of relationships and also of course that we are as separate from the world of people who are marrying as we are separate from the worlds of the criminal, or the crippled or the insane) it seems way more simple because we just look at the social definitions of marriage (live in the same house, shared property, their relationship is acknowledge by the state) instead of the deeper meanings those persons who are marrying give it (grasping what "forever" means, truly deciding and deciding to share your life with someone, etc.) I guess...

By the way, with "us" i meant more me since i have no experience of that sort of thing and also about anyone who feels that way.



In the very unlikely case i get engaged, i will very likely ask my bride if we can just skip the wedding, it really freaking scares me too . But... How does changing your name and title avoids the ceremony? can't you just not do it if you don't want to, or do you have to do it because of outer cirscumtances?

ooooh, congratulations on your engagement!! on the topic of weddings, i'm also scared of them. all the people you dont know, the happy-go-lucky atmosphere and there are kids everywhere too. i remember my cousin's wedding.... ugh just thinking about makes me sick, how awful weddings are but i'm sure it'll be better if it's your own wedding instead of another people's. good luck with yours, and congratulations again

I know marriage isn't simple. I just mean when you're married you know what the relationship is supposed to be.
And if I got married I wouldn't really want a ceremony and wouldn't want to involve any governments or churches or anything.

I despise marriage ceremonies simply because people in general bother me. Especially hypocritical people. And nothing seems more hypocritical than having a ceremony which focuses more on "showing off" your partner to the guests rather than focusing on each other, which is the only thing that matters, the rest of the people are unnecessary.

According to my friend, other people's marriages are also good for getting completely drunk at their expense.

Blehhhh yeah, that would scare the shit out of me too. Also, I really like my name, so I wouldn't want to change it
I think my mum and dad didn't have a massive ceremony and all that. It's not a necessity.


Fuck that man, bring your own booze

This would be ideal.

But if you go through with having a typical wedding, I hope you and/or your family won't spend an insane amount of money on it. I believe that my sister and brother-in-law's wedding cost $10,000. The sad thing? My sister and brother-in-law were already considering splitting up less than a year later . One mustn't forget that hardly anyone stays together anymore.

One thing about my sister and brother-in-law's wedding that bothered me was how a large portion of money went towards feeding people who my sister and brother-in-law don't know at all. If I were to get married, I'd be very selective about who could show up and not show up at my wedding. If I wouldn't be selective, people I hate or don't really know at all could show up at my wedding and it could fuck up my entire wedding day.

Hey Aillas whats up, remember us from high school?

Deafmute, you win.

At Everything.

Actually, I've thought about that before- and I feel the same about the actual wedding part. I like the idea of being married and a cute wedding would be nice...but the ceremony itself is a bit intimidating for me. I think I would like it alright if it were a bit on the casual side and it was small enough and we were both in alignment of what we wanted in it.

What actually would get to me though would be the vow and speeches. Public cheesy things often feel fake to me and make me uncomfortable if it's too formal and cliche like that, even though I'd mean every word of it...I would be so scared my Aspie-ness would come out and it would make the guy feel really bad if it didn't sound emotional or good enough.

I also think it's ridiculous the way families can spend $10,000+ on a wedding. I don't know if that's relatively cheap, but I'd rather that much money be spent towards a future house. Hell, I'd be happier with spending more on the honeymoon than the wedding, really.

Aw gawd, I hadn't even thought about that. That'd be uncomfortable for me too. Just I don't need an audience for that.


Exactly!

Could we not just sort it out over a barbecue or something?

I think I'd design my own fucking wedding, it would not be traditional at all (apart from the marrying official bit thing, fuck I dunno I've never been to a wedding). I'd make it as ridiculous/laid back/weird as possible. Well, obv if the lady approved with my idea l0l. I've only JUST thought about this .

I'm gonna have to go to a wedding soon for one of my old school best friends, so that'll be interesting. I have no idea what it's gonna be like, I guess I'll ask him tomorrow if he comes round for my bday . But yeah, if I wanted to get married and de lady agreed, we'd invent our own fucking crazy weird unconventional ridiculous wedding.

i think about marriage all the time, but i always feel if i ask someone about they think it's strange, or might say i'm too demanding (which i'm not) :-/

i think there's a lot of girls my age in america that like dating instead of having a committed relationship. i think this isn't right.

Thinking is good, even about stuff like that.