Has anyone here ever had to try and write a resume with no prior work experience? Or, like, volunteer experience? Basically nothing?

I want to apply for internships at school but they require a resume. But besides making the Dean's List a few times, and my A+ and Net+ certifications, I have nothing to put down. I've got no clue what the hell I'm supposed to put down.

Any advice?

If you don't have work experience you want to make the majority of it focused on your education / awards from education and such like the A+ or whatever you mentioned also mention a lot of skills you posses like typing / other computer shit and whatever other kinds of skills you might have. Also don't make your resume over complicated and try to keep it to one page

That's what my instructor told me when I was going to classes.

Not much experience with having no experience, always had things to do within the field I work in, but you could try the following.
If you have hobbies that pertain to the field that the internship works in you could name those.
You could talk about some school projects and what fantastic role you had in them (You can polish the reality a bit)
And besides, its for your school so those A+ and Net+ are still something you can use in an interview.

You'll obviously have to make shit up.

I'd say that I worked for businesses that have recently shut down. Either that or get one of my family member's friends who runs a business say that I've worked for him/her. Then if they call one of your references (usually they don't even bother), they'll at least be convinced that you've worked in the past.

Hardly anyone gives a shit about that.

Yes they do, education is important. You can't just make shit up on your resume, bro. It's 2011.

Well, you should not make shit completely up from thin air. If they find out you will just get fired for being untrustworthy.
But stretching the truth and giving a more positive twist to the reality is not a bad idea.
Also an important part of it is being able to tell them your story without doubting yourself. You don't have to do a perfect impression, just don't bullshit them or make an impression that you are doing that.

I mean, you can say you were a burgerflipper @ McDonalds, or you could say you were in charge of food logistics and order procurement in a time-constrained environment and that yiu are capable of working under pressure. (Just put down, Food logistics management)

You sometimes have no choice but to do it. People who can't put anything down on their resume can't even "stretch the truth".

Yes, the world is cruel. Being honest in this world means that you'll lose obviously.

One of my acquaintance wrote down that he knew five languages, including Russian, though he knew a few words only, no one even cared to check that fact.
Saying I did nothing all these years is much worse. There is a big gap in my biography.
Everything is a matter of luck anyway.

Yeeah that's all I have. I'm definitely not lying - this isn't actual employment, it's just an unpaid internship. I assume they're more lenient on lack of experience, but even if they aren't, I doubt experience working at McDonalds,which is about the only job I could maybe get, matters much to them.

This makes me want to fucking kill myself. I'm handing it in tomorrow.

Honestly rezu, what you've got doesn't look that bad. It's far better than a blank sheet y'know? I'd hire you

I guess it's not so bad, but I feel like I'm totally lying. I just listed basically crap from classes I took. I don't feel confident in anything. Then I go and look at examples of resumes and it looks like total crap.

That doesn't look bad at all,
You know multiple languages, multiple OS, Unix scripting.

It looks better then what most people around here turn in as a resume. They would be fools not to atleast give you an interview.
Just know that you are better then a lot of them

good stuff, rezu. I'd keep it just the way it is, simple. go with that for a bit, see where it gets you

Rezu you are cool.
Your list is pretty good compared to many I've seen.... for an unpaid internship you should do fine....
Used to be a techie myself years ago... ancient history....

I wrote a resume yesterday. When I listed volunteer work. I just listed any volunteer work like I would a regular job.

It is a social myth that when you graduate college you are ready to enter the workforce without any learning required, on the job training or teething problems. I think most people just tend to fake it, since this society promotes cock-sure types as exemplars.

Really to get good at doing something, anything you have to do it again and again and again, till the ingrained habit which was once an awkward conscious effort becomes subconscious and effortless. So to really get good at programming or IT, you would have to practice it for years, not take college courses on IT. Only about half the classes anyway likely had anything to do with the major involved. So going to college for IT, would actually make it more difficult than learning it yourself on pure time and logistics considerations alone.

Luck or knowing the right people. Which brings back the honesty bit... gah! It's a LOOP!

That was a major concern for me, a gap in my "professional" life, until it did happen! I already had the job... a woman, my boss (coordinator or commercial or close to it), kept asking what i did all those years, the first time i lied and thought i was pretty convincing. How wrong i was, she kept at it from time to time during the day, i was getting increasingly uncomfortable, nervous and anxious. Came to a point i didn't knew what to say anymore. It's just not the fact i was unemployed, and had no income, its the social pressure... of not being social! To her there was something strange going on behind all that (she actually said that), like i was a threat to their business. That day and her words really pushed me down, that along with a few other things later on made quit as fast as i could.

Back on topic. LIE. I can't do it, too afraid to get caught, plus me and lies don't go together well because they eat me up inside, basically i'm an idiot in a world of wolfs.