The flat is starting to stink. I think. You really need to throw the garbage out. It's just a few steps you know? What are you so afraid of?

what's wrong with you nev. you should be happy you still have a job, not complaining. so shut up and do your job correctly.

I know exactly what you mean with the "musical fail". It has been a long time since I have produced anything worth while (fully constructed songs), probably around six years as well. I made an album and EP but since then nothing concrete. What I noticed was my lack of knowledge held me back the most so instead of making another album that sounded just like the previous one, I hit the books and studied to improve my skills and instrument playing. As previously mentioned that was six years ago and sometimes I still feel like I don't know enough to produce the kind of music I want too. However I can tell when I sit down in the studio to improv and practice, my producing abilities have increased quite a bit. I guess what I'm tying to say is if you feel like your in a musical rut there might be a few things you can do to help get out of it. For me it was learning more music theory and reading instrument/program manuals so I could utilize my musical tools to the fullest. Also don't be afraid to listen to other bands for ideas and inspiration. My biggest weak point ATM is producing drum tracks so sometimes I listen to my CD collection for rhythm patterns that I can recreate and modify to my liking.

Anyways, if you ever get back into the studio and are looking for someone to talk too or give you constructive criticism, feel free to PM me anytime. I'll do what I can to help.

Me: That bitch whore cunt sure is one fuckin sore loser huh
Me C: you can't blame her for being bitter since she didn't get the nice end of the stick like us. You can't possibly expect anything better. Maybe we'd be playing her side too if only, and weren't we back then?
Me: That fuck should just hang herself instead of spreading her judgemental crap still
Me H: Please just stop this, youre not helping you know and you're both selfish monsters anyway, how are you any different!
Me: And you are not??!?!?! Screw you and just go to bed you retard
Me C: Let's get back to work alright everyone!?! ALRIGHT?!!!

I also find myself procrastinating hobbies I enjoy. There's kind of a thought pattern behind it, which might be considered over-analyzed to some but when describing my behavior it makes perfect sense. Basically the original joy experienced in a new-found hobby has diminished beyond the point where other activities have become more enjoyable. How should I say this in other words... Music (keyboard practice) and drawing are good examples because they are both mediums used for self-expression. When we first engage in these hobbies they're very rewarding because our initial progress is typically fast and can be easily identified. However after reaching a certain point, further development becomes difficult (discovering and refining your personal style or learning new complex concepts) and identifying progress is harder to do. It's usually at this stage when some people lose interest or begin to categorize their hobby as work more than play. At a certain point that is what I did subconsciously, and I had to change this thinking pattern to help keep myself from procrastinating my constructive hobbies. Regarding your situation maybe I'm way off. Perhaps people just have a habit of labeling their constructive hobbies as work, since it's easier to play video games or watch anime.



Schopenhauer is one philosopher whose ideas I really liked. Nietzsche... It goes without saying he had some innovative and thought-provoking concepts, but personally I didn't like many of them. I realize one doesn't have to always agree with a philosopher's beliefs to appreciate their intelligence and greatness, which I do in this case. But regarding his whole train of thought and belief system, if those are the right words to use, I can't disagree less. Nietzsche's whole Social Darwinist idea probably bothers me the most and sometimes I wonder if it's just an extension of his superiority complex. Probably not, but his school of thought just rubs me the wrong way for some reason. Maybe because his universe has no need for Hikikomori/Recluse.
Anyways... Now that I think about it, it's not surprising I agree with Schopenhauer more than Nietzsche, since their philosophies are in sharp contrast to one another.

You've got mustard on your pants. Just thought you'd like to know.

Me: we're gonna have some real fun tonight
Me C: I don't think YOU can have your kinda fun considering the company we're having.
Me: We'll see...
Me H: Please, just learn how to dance, that IS why we're going right? RIGHT?!

Add:
Me C: Note my objection, I still think this is stupid. What got into you anyway to be getting into us this lately
Me: Stop being coy will you, it really doesnt work

what am i doing here? why even bother? your just a lazy Neet anyway right? No one even comments you back. you used to be so popular and had goals. you never gave up and you stood up for whats right.. now you waste everyones time. your lazy and you dont even do what you say your going to. your the worst good for nothing NEET

Ahahahaha, you sound like a jerk!

The self is an illusion. Who are you talking to. Who's asking? I am (dramatic entrance) your super ego (fireworks). Freud was full of shit, you don't exist. Then who am I? You're an arse hole, go fuck yourself. Don't talk to your super ego like that. Fuck you id, get back in the cupboard where you belong. I want to rape a zebra. Yeah that's why you're the id. What do you mean? You're a twat, back me up super ego this guy is a twat right? You want to sleep with your mother. What! That super ego is one messed up fucker. Sick bastard! See even my id is grossed out by that shit. Zebras on the other hand.....Jesus you're both sick. I don't want to fuck my mother or a zebra. You see you're the problem, I could be normal but you're always on about fucking zebra's. That's why you can't get laid. You don't meet enough zebra's in night clubs. And when you do they're so fucking shallow. There's always someone else who has more hay. What the fuck are you talking about id? Pootang is what I'm talking about you fucking looser. God you are such a twat,super ego you don't approve of such language do you? You said I don't exist. Yeah but....
Fukity fuck blah blah.

You did your laundry and house-cleaning on a work-night - you are a champion of the universe.

It's time to grow up, Kaylin.
You have no more excuses.

It sucks that when you finally want to exercise, you can't blow up the damn ball cause you're missing the pin. At least your room is cleanish...and could you stop thinking about going to work? It's your day off, you're not supposed to be thinking about work. And don't cook dinner if you're only going to eat a few bites, stop wasting food all the damn time.

Me All: we look so fat
Me: we just need to exercise
Me A: we need to fuck more
Me H: I feel like a monster, i look so hideous. god i want to fuckin punch myself. i look so fuckin ugly so ugly i should just freakin rottttttttttt

@NotYou

You are an idiot. You keep doing the same mistakes, knowing fully well that you will be making them... i know you some times despair, fell lonely and hopeless, but you have to stop.

Also, you may be an idiot, but you are surrounded by bigger ones, empty, little, cruel, ignoble people that belong to a non existent reality. Look at the posts above... you are not alone.

Look a three headed monkey!

Where?

Oh, I'm back here. It's a good thing since it has been over a month of discomfort staying with noisy people who always want me to tend to them.
Now, look at the time! I was supposed to be doing a number of things, be productive with a product which will keep my mind content to some extent rather than think of the time that I'd have wasted anyway. Or studied for my silly tests which I wouldn't have had to worry about if I had taken care of them much earlier.
The time is passing, passing, passing. . .

Me: Im so fuckin sleeeeeeeepy
Me C: H took the fun away from you last night huh?
Me: Yeah, the fuckin slut, how yucky
Me H: ...
Me C: Whats your bet on LA
Me: 1 week at most
Me H: I dont think you can resist, I think itll drag for a month
Me: Get real, im crazy I know but my feet are still here on earth
Me C: Now youre sounding like an emo too? What is going on here?!
Me: shut up. its not about being emo, you can tell yourself right?
Me C: I know, I do see it as a possibility. But we can drag this far longer than any. As long as that idiot H doesnt mess anything up.
Me: I think you know far well, you should just learn to shut it. You dont like it then go to sleep or something
Me H: I still dont think this is a good idea.
Me: Just fuckin shut up! Just get out of our way!
Me C: A lot of our fumbles were because of you. So for once I do agree with her, go on some vacation or something.
Me H: You all know it doesnt work that way.
Me: Are you still talking???!!!!!!!!

C'mon. Go. Go. Just till thursday. Then you can sleep.

黙れ。

黙れ。

黙れ。

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