♦ Somehow, I am still employed despite being the leading candidate for Most Apathetic Employee of the Year. I think the only thing that has kept me from quitting has been my mastery of the art of hiding in plain sight and reading books, since people expect you to be messing around with your phone at work (which I also do, admittedly), not pickin' up Cancer Ward and trying to cheer yourself up with the knowledge that at least people in Soviet Russia had it worse off than you
♦Still in school (to the best of my knowledge--more certainty will come with the release of grades in February)
♦ Boy, have I bought more figures
♦ Yeap, read a lot of mangoes too too.
♦ Still feel massive pressure to conform. Still not good at ignoring it.

Goals for 2012:

♦ Do not fail out of lawl school
♦ Do not get fired
♦ Find a better job instead and quit in a blaze of glorious dickery, spending my two weeks notice messing with management
♦ Finish making my room into a room instead of it just being a corner of the basement stacked with boxes of books
♦ Lose weight, since just being able to wear clothes from when I was so self-hating I was a bit lighter is much cheaper than buying new clothes to replace the ones that are dying
♦ WRITE THAT MOTHERFUCKING BOOK
♦ JUST FUCKING DO IT, ALL RIGHT
♦ YOU CAN'T SLEEP ANYWAY, WHY DON'T YOU TRY WRITING DURING THAT TIME INSTEAD OF JUST LAYING ABOUT MOPING
♦ JESUS CHRIST
♦ GET SOME SELF-CONTROL

...I'm really bad at self-control.

So I found a site that lets me create a list of goals and track it. You guys can see my list here. On January 1st I my End of 2012 list will lock itself for one full year. Lets see how much I get done.

Good.

I hope you meet all your goals, and if you don't mind me saying, I hope you don't wait until January 1 to get started. Start now.

I would start sooner, but the site I use makes the list unchangeable for a year. So I want to get as many goals on the list as I can't... and I cannot always think of all of them on the spot.

Ideally,

Passport/Citizenship settled.
Have a job.
Relationship still awesome ( & see each other more)
My own place.

No alarms and no surprises.

(Imagine all of this post in Tyler Durden's Voice)

"All right fucker, get up. Today we're going to make a list, this list will of things that you shall achieve at least by the end of this year, think of it like Fallout 1, do what you want, fuck off, lay down, whatever i don't care. But you have a time limit to do these things, and these things are your main objective, they're above everything. Got it fucker? Cool, so let's go through the list:

1: You will send an entry to one literary contest, you don't even have to win, you just have to send one, ok? One. Fucking. Contest. Simple, and you will do it.
2: You will, at some point in this year, go by yourself to another city, preferably another country but that's unlikely. Not to live there of course and you surely will have to return home, think of it like the Narrator as he travelled through airports. No, i don't care what might happen to you while you go there, you will do it.
3: You will make a comic, at the very least a page, you will go through all the process of writing, drawing, composing, spacing, everything from what that guy in the office saying "this would be such a cool idea for a comic!" to the step similar to how Neil Gaiman felt when he finished the first Volume of Sandman.
4:How about repairing your Guitar or re-tuning your violin? and of course, practicing a bit on them.
5:You need a memory that will last forever, you need a story, you need a dream.
6:You will train more in the "teachings" of Barret and Buddha, you will also study more about Kierkegaard (and then go through your way to other philosophers) and keep in mind, that the men sketched with the stars of eternity are watching.

And finally, some minor things which have requirements of hours you have to complete (like your internship by the way!):

Exercise: At least 100 Hours.
Reading: At least 300 Hours.
Practice in arts: At least 250 Hours.
Wandering between humanity and the world: At least 200 Hours.

That's about it.

It really isn't that hard, it reminds of that quote: "It doesn't take much". And it really doesn't.

You can do it, you will do it"

Excellent! I like this. Good luck with all of these goals in the coming year!

If you really want it, you will achieve every one of them.

Thanks! I'm glad you like them. I also wish you good luck with your goals of this year! .

And true. At the end of the day, it's just me who has the greatest influence and responsibility on it, to quote Alan Shepard (i don't know who he is by the way): "Dear Lord, don't let me fuck up"

well i completed two, and still haven't transferred over completely to gmail & google plus but have gotten most of the email done. it's apparently a huge process. i got my tat colered but we need to go back in and finish up the fine details. i started what will be my right arm sleeve and my appointment is in march for more work. i don't have a job but don't have to look for one either. i'm still not conversational in Japanese nor can i read many kanji, but i can very slowly read hirigana and katakana, though most of the time i don't know what word it is i'm reading. my sketching and painting is slow.. i don't like a lot of the things i do and start over or quit halfway. i'll see if i can com up with some ideas about that.
i'd like to make actual resolutions on the lunar new year in a few weeks.

You know, i'm starting to think this is a very strong and common problems for illustrators around the world . And nice to hear you don't have to look for a job anymore, i think you're happy about that, right?

Also; I wish you luck and hope you get to be happy and attain all your goals this year .

• Buy at least one sword and half a dozen or so large knives before the end of the year (I've been wanting to start up a sword and knife collection since I was a kid. When I was younger I had a rather large knife collection, but none of my knives were very big).
• Fill an entire bookcase with art and photography books (I just bought about ten art and photography books last month. At this rate it shouldn't take long).
• Get weights and start working out (I don't want to become a muscle man or anything, but there's fat on parts of my body that would be impossible to get rid of if I never worked out. I also wouldn't mind gaining a bit of strength though).
• Brew my own beer and/or wine.

Forget friendships, traveling, romantic relationships and all that other unimportant crap. Swords are much more important and you know it.

Maybe a good enough sword/knife collection can get you the rest anyway.

I've never been much into swords or knives (although the Japanese side of my family actually does have a family samurai sword) but I did like antique/western guns for a while. Kind of pointless in Europe though, and I don't have much of a desire to shoot any more guns, really anyways.

I did actually enjoy military antique conventions/collectibles as a kid for some reason, and have a few decent items back in storage.

• Aquire Drivers Licence
• Learn Basic Korean
• Gain 5 Pounds of Pure Muscle!

All require me not to be lazy, i think thats the main goal.

You always have such awesome and thoughtful posts. :3

The sum of what I'm feeling is this: "what the fuck am I doing with my life right now?"

Ok, so my life's going pretty good right now, but I'm unfocused and have no drive. I need some goals, or I'll just be drifting around, and that's starting to get to me.



I could really do with something like this. One thing that bothers me about myself is how I keep thinking "I'll try," but that's verging on a defeatist outlook. I keep telling myself "Do or do not. There is NO try." Really, I need to start doing shit!

Sorry for the double post, but I want to write down some new goals.

I'm going to get damn good at baking. Make around 1 thing per week.
Learn more about business stuff from my dad.
Start playing guitar again and get to a decent standard. Learn one song per week/2 weeks. Eventually start putting down song ideas again. Record and play in front of an audience.
Get my work done before the deadline.

I think I'd like to be a bit healthier somehow. I'm not sure how I'm going to do this, considering I don't want to give anything up (particularly caffeine and nicotine, which probably defeats my purpose). But I guess, just in general eat better/drink more water, possibly excessive. I guess because I don't really want to give up anything bad, I thought I may as well just attempt to balance it out at least instead.

Also, make sure I keep up reading more and don't slack off with that, like I have been...

Although at first glance i don't like the romantic comedy that for some unexplainable reason calls itself the movie adaptation of Choke. There is one quote from that movie which is worthy: "Sometimes, it doesn't matter which way you jump, just that you jump" Hope it helps somehow.

Also, great goals, eventually, with perseveration, patience and diligence we will attain our respective goals, well with that and also skill and will .

so here are my resolutions for the year of the dragon.

- make a sketch or a painting once a week to be completed on teusdays. starting next week
- post updates and recipes in the food blog i created at least twice a week.

that's pretty much it for now. it seems like i should make more, but i don't want to get ahead of myself.

in this year I want to learn swim underwater with open eyes.

i've already blown the two goals i had off totally.

Attend college.
Get good grades in college.
Find a summer job.
Find somewhere to volunteer with animals.
Practice guitar more.
Go outside more.

Not feeling anything for anyone anymore.