Do you hate yourself?
Especially those of you with social anxiety, avoidant personality, or other related disorders?

It seems to me that a lot of people with social anxiety, etc. seem to hate, or at least severely dislike, themselves. I've been on a lot of social anxiety forums where people will blatantly say that they hate themselves. These are all very good people & I think everyone can see it except for the person him or herself. I've never really understood how truly great people can have such a low opinion of themselves. It seems to me that if other people can realize how great they are, they should be able to see it for themselves. It seems that some people blame themselves for their social inadequacies, & think badly of themselves because of it. I know a lot of it probably goes back to experiences they had in their childhoods, because it's the only thing I can think of that makes sense as to why they would think such things about themselves.


For myself, I definitely don't hate myself. I really like myself. I do not like my life, but I do like myself & there is a very big difference between the two. There are definitely a lot of individual aspects about myself that I don't like, but those aspects don't overshadow the feelings that I have about myself overall. It's why I don't feel that I have low self esteem. Therapists have always asked me whether I feel I am deserving of happiness & other good things in life. I say yes, because I definitely am. They ask how "worthy" I feel. I feel very worthy. I am worthy of all good things. They always seem shocked by the answers I give to their questions because they (& a lot of others) seem to think that social anxiety can not be had without low self-esteem. I've even had others tell me this, despite my own experiences to the contrary. Just coming from my own feelings about myself, I know that low self-esteem does not have to exist in order for social anxiety to. I have very severe social anxiety, yet, I'm a really good person & I know that. I think that other people would also realize that if they got to know me (or if I would let them get to know me). Internally, I'm a very kind person, though that doesn't show a lot when I'm around others because I'm so scared.

So.... How do you feel about yourself? If you have social anxiety, do you hate, or really dislike, yourself? Do you like yourself, despite your anxiety? Or are you somewhere in between?

I don't hate myself but I do dislike myself. I find my personality really irritating, I wish I could get away from myself sometimes.

I don't feel like I always hate myself. Hate is far too strong to describe the feeling really. I have days and moments where I'm utterly discontented with myself but they come and go. Mostly I think I'm a little indifferent to myself.

I do however still have low self esteem and because of it I won't dare very many things in most situations that are outside my comfort zone.

I've gone past hating myself. I've merely accepted myself for the failure I am.

yes, i hate myself

I don't hate myself but what SV22 said about other people goes for me as well. Few people like me because I'm so extremely passive and sometimes without anything to confer. I feel at ease with myself most of the time though. I feel like a leaf on a tree. Even if I fall I'm a part of the perfection of nature. Like a photo taken at the perfect moment.

I don't "hate" myself - I actually feel quite the opposite. I think I'm a genuinely good person - almost too good. Even when I'm a prick, I feel a great deal of guilt afterwards because I usually do it as a way of taking my problems out on others.

If there's anything I hate about myself, it's my undesirable traits - the ones which prevent me from living a normal, or at least semi-normal, life.

A funny thing once happened to me.

A persian taxi driver in Stockholm saw me approaching the army of taxis lined up outside of the airport and started waving and yelling "this way, here!" gesturing that his car in the front row was available. He was a very extroverted and social type, started talking and after a while spontaneously blurted out that "the instant I saw you I knew you were the type who likes to help people. I saw you're a good person!" then he told me about his family, his daughter's eating disorders and depression because she hadn't gotten accepted into med school, his financial difficulties etc, and we kept talking throughout the drive to the city.

It wasn't the first time I met someone like that, who said I was a special person who wants to help people. I think deep down that I really want to be some sort of helper doing good for everyone, but normal people just don't understand me and they don't see these qualities just by looking at me the way that taxi driver did. While most people live in some sort of compromised egocentric state, I only have two extremes. Complete compassion or misantrophy. I can't handle the middle road.

I think my tantrums as a kid were caused be the fake attitudes of people. I expect complete honesty and kindness and when met with lies, greed and pride hidden beneath courtesy and diplomacy I feel like I die inside.

You're not a failure.

Honestly, I love myself. I'm not an openly narcissistic person, but I tend to think pretty highly of myself. I recognize my many short-comings, but I definitely wouldn't want to be anyone else.

That's great

I don't hate myself. I feel kind of neutral about myself. I can't say I like myself, but I don't hate myself either. I've just accepted the way I am.

Not gonna go into it, but I'm pretty fail.

yes i hate myself in every thang that i do.. its sick..

There are some things I like and dislike about myself. I'm not sure if I could say that I hate myself. I think I have a mix of inferior and superior mindsets. It's puzzling

I am nothing if not the most important person in existence.

There are parts of me I like and parts I don't like.

I hate myself, yet I often think I'm superior to other people, but I know that I'm really not, so I hate myself even more for thinking that. It's complicated.

^ I think you put it as well as it is possible Gloomba.

Nah.

I am disappointed in myself though.

I hate myself so much right now.

I switch on and off from self loath although sometimes it may be over exaggerated. Although sometimes I have narcissistic tendencies and I think highly of myself and I get misanthropic ("Everyone else is the problem, this is my world"). It's actually amazing how much I switch between the two states, almost as if I have some identity problem.
During self hate moments I'll sometimes with for a serial killer to come and "set me free" although again I know my self to over exaggerate.

That happens to me as well.

Sometimes, I blurt out randomly or think randomly "I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself" or "I want to kill myself, I want to kill myself, I want to kill myself". It's weird and depressing.

I hate myself sometimes. I hate myself more when my mental illness gets in the way of my daily life.

This happens to me all the time. Even if I'm not actually feeling particularly bad at the time, it's like those phrases just pop into my head and won't go away.

Whenever a doctor asks me if I've been having suicidal thoughts, I'm never sure what I should say, because I'm not actually considering killing myself; I'm just unintentionally thinking "I want to kill myself" without really even thinking about what those words mean.