i have a boyfriend, but he works all days, i noticed i feel less lonely, when i watch tv.

Man, sorry to hear that nevada, sounds harsh/sad/lonely. In a way it makes me think of Scott Pilgrim, when Ramona is talking about Gideon "I actually felt more alone with him than i ever was on my own" .

but it's still better than boyfriend junkie/alcoholic/agressive. I can't live alone

I understand what you mean yet i'm not completely sure of it . But in any case i wish you luck and happiness.

I wouldn't say I am lonely. I enjoy the time I have alone, which is the vast majority of my day. What I'm more concerned about is finding thinks to do to stimulate my mind.

Yes, I am lonely, but I wouldn't consider myself to be afflicted by the painful type of loneliness. I'm glad to be alone, being around other people for an extended period of time is just bothersome and painful.

I'm lonely, but only when I'm not escaping into something. I do think I'd be enjoying life a lot more if I had friends. It's manageable for now though.

pretty much the same for me. i cant really bond with people

You know the more I think about it. I have less fun with people these days.... I mean you have to take into consideration their feelings and wants and needs... when you are alone. You get to do everything on your own.

Sometimes, people avoided the use of the word "lonely" though, but I've been asked about my social life before and they know/suspected I don't have any friends.

No, people don't ask me questions like that. Most of the time I'm oblivious of the fact I'm completely alone the greater part of the day. Only occasionally does my loneliness seep in from below and then I feel like I'm drowning in a huge deep ocean of it. A sharp terror strikes me and I wonder how this will all end.

I'd rather just be around chill people who are self dependant in that way. And even if they aren't, I'd still much prefer that to being a hermit my entire life.

It's an interesting question because you would think all hikikomori people would feel lonely, but that doesn't apply to everyone. Like for me even though I'm alone I don't necessarily feel lonely. I do sometimes think about the past when I had my small group of friends, but when I think about how I am now it doesn't really bother me. My interests have changed as I got older and now I just can't relate with other people anymore, so I spend my time alone. I'm still for the most part happy, or rather content I should say. I have my good and bad days just like everyone else.

I honestly can't remember the last time being asked something like this.. The only people to ask such a thing would be my remaining two relatives and they are well aware that I've always been a rather solitary individual.

Only on seldom and temporary occasions. I'm usually too busy.

Please don't take this at wrong Fraktale, but i can't help but feel sort of amazed/interested/mesmerized at reading that. I mean, at how... Lone wolf you are, for some reason the words "Lonesome Road" keep ringing faintly in my mind .

It's also interesting that some people are secluding themselves to avoid loneliness, it's a bit of a contradiction, but some (myself included) end up doing everything alone because it actually feels worse when there's a contrast between being alone and being with a group, you hang out with a group of people but sometimes it feels like that's not enough, once you parted with everyone, the loneliness creeps up on you. Being reclusive means you won't have the emotional attachment with others, you won't get hurt, you remain in a neutral state, there's no sense of loss.

Loneliness is quite relative and sometimes it's there when you hang out with others but not when you're alone.

@ Dream: As always I'm thankful for every opinion and I think you made me realize my mistake here.

I do not wish to call your feelings wrong, but I think the image I created here is faulty, since I likely made it sound too easy here.
Personally I don't think that there is anything to be amazed about and "lonesome road" sounds actually a bit romanticized to me, since there isn't anything romantic to it.
In my opinion, it is all just a question of what one is used to and this got nothing to do with a "lonesome rider"-image, as it is known out of stories.

Emotionally I always felt more or less alone, with or without people, and I just grew numb to it over time and buried myself in my studies to keep my brain busy.
Maybe this satisfies your interest for now.
If I'd always be completely and perfectly fine this way, would I have bothered signing up here?

Being around others feels more like an obligation rather that wanting to. The best I can do is be alone whenever I can. I at least try not to be rude to anyone. It would only cause trouble heh.

I completely agree. It can be kind of fun during the rare occasions when I do go and hang out with someone. It starts off with my being shy and avoiding people until I'm able to get used to being out again. Once that happens I slowly come out of my shell and start to have fun, but once I get home I feel like shit because I know I'm just walking into my room of seclusion, so I can go back to doing my boring daily routines again. That's why I don't like going out and having fun because you know you just have to eventually come back to your boring life.

please don't worry fraktale, indeed my previous post was foolishly romanticizing that and i wondered about that a while after i posted it. Anyway, just to comment, i honestly believe however that a bit of romanticizing towards one's own life or self or situation can do wonders of change, or to put it another way: "Wishful thinking is a necessity for human life" .



You mean as in that if someone already always lived alone then he wouldn't mind? interesting, in a way that makes me think of this phrase from Shinji: "(After being asked by a concerned Misato if he was happy with living alone) It's fine. I prefer being alone. Every place is the same."



good point, i think you are mostly and fundamentally right, yet i honestly feel that while that is indeed the root of this... Arc/essence/tree/part of life/existence, there are still some vital branches/extensions/leaves that still must be discovered/explored or considered

By the way Fraktale, i must say i can't help but love the way you write/put things .

By the waty, i almost forgot: Congratulations on being a VIP Fraktale! .

well I can't even say im lonely now since I live with my boyfriend so... but back then, I dont know if you people read but I was really going crazy out of sheer... well... loneliness. I'm just glad im out of that nightmare now.

Most of the time "No", I'm not lonely because I enjoy the time spent by myself. However sometimes when I go so long without interacting with the outside world I do get very lonely, even to the point where it begins to depress me. It's a strange sentiment, after a certain point something deep inside of my subconscious yearns for me to interact with other people. Sometimes I wonder if that feeling is just my social instincts kicking in to try and prevent me from completely conditioning myself into total isolation. It's usually around the third or forth week of social retraction I begin to feel lonely, so I will go and visit a friend or two to chat with for a while. These days I don't have as many people to hang out with but it's kind of nice this way because my current friendships now are much more meaningful. Instead of having a bunch of impersonal acquaintances, the few individuals I do interact with are very close to me and we can talk about pretty much anything. I'm fairly open to them about my recluse behavior and personality flaws, and they seem to understand it (especially since some of them are also borderline recluse). The only thing that alarms them is how I will turn off my mobile phone for literally weeks at a time making it virtually impossible to get a hold of me. For them maybe they aren't used to that kind of thing because even if they don't go out much, they still call people on a regular basis. But honestly, I think their worry stems more from genuine concern than being unfamiliar with my recluse behavior. My friends said they don't mind seeing me only a couple of times a month, but they just want me to call them once in a while to let them know I'm still alive and doing okay. Lately I've been trying to do that but for some reason it's harder than one would think. Especially during those days I just can't seem to get myself to pick up the phone and call them regularly. My apprehensiveness isn't out of laziness, but rather my inability to properly interact with them the way I would like too. IDK if I said that right but I'm sure some of you understand what I mean...

TL;DR
Most of the time I'm not lonely, but I do feel a periodic need to interact with the outside world.

no

My situation is kind of similar. I don't talk with anyone, but I do wish I would. I've been tempted so many times to log onto facebook and send one of my friends a message to ask him if he wants to hang out, but I just don't have the courage to do so. It's not that I'm being lazy like you said. It's just difficult to take that leap and start talking to one of your friends again especially when we haven't talked in so long.

Not living on my own, but I don't interact much with anyone here anyway. I'm not lonely, but that's mainly because I do have a few friends online.

I would not mind going on like this. It's the fact that I know I can't that distresses me and makes me want to change. Doing it... well, that's another matter.