down the hill? more like downhill. (^-^() I've tried to take many first steps, kind of, dont really know what you mean by steps. I've did many steps towards other people, if you mean that, many times and they always resulted with despair. i hate being only used of people to fill in empty gaps from people who aren't capable of entertaining themselves for a change, no matter how hard i try to establish some sort of meaningful connection by doing what they expect me to do/what I've observed that other people do in order to be accepted as a member of friendships.

it's funny that pac man can only eat those ghosts after eating those pills. i wants some, although there are no pills in the game that last long enough to get rid of all the ghosts in the game field, its like irl.

You just have to lure them into chasing you so they're all close together, then you get the pill and turn around and eat them all at once. Also like real life.

8.5/10

Too depressed to post replies or do anything meaningful with life. Sorry. Going through another depressive cycle. I think my period is coming.

Horrible.

I had to do a factory reset on my PC. Lost a lot of important stuff.

Yeah I wonder How I managed to write "down the hill" Anyway I meant you just have to get rolling.

90 today it is the offer Halloween party today. I hate holidays that do not get me time off from work.

9/10


Mrrrrr.

9.5/10

Can't motivate myself to do anything >.>

i don't even know anymore. i'm completely numb.

-1

Probably 8/10..

And when I'm not depressed I'm anxious/stressed which is just as bad...

4/10

All is quiet...
All is still...
Like Corpses.

I'm pretty miserable just at this moment. I'm going to try and sleep if I can.

This has been an unpleasant spike back up to 200

Well, Sunday night I was feeling quite good with myself... maybe 2/10

Now one school day and it's back up to 7/10

9/10

want to die
hate my life
hate my being
hate my conscious
doubt even death would save me
forsaken

8/10

People keep telling me, "if only you do X, then you'll feel happy". Like with school.

Apparently once I'm done with school, I'm supposed to suddenly be happy, financially secure, feel like I've finally found meaning in life.

Ignore the fact that even if I were to get a job, I'd probably dislike it, since I really dislike my studies right about now. Ignore the fact that the job market for lawyers is highly saturated and competitive and I just don't measure up. Even if all those other things happen, how is that supposed to make me happy? I'd still come home at the end of the day to an empty house and an empty life.

I'm so tired of doing "the right thing". I'm tired of being "responsible".

For once, I just want to do what feels right.

in that case you should party or do whut ever makes you happy.....but you should still keep trying with your studies....school makes soooo much of a differnce.....i can't get a job for sh!t with my school record...at this point i WISH i wuz in school for sumthing like being a lawyer or a locksmith or sumthing.......bottom line play first work later

5/10

Not really there but somehow I don't think it'll get any lower before the nights over with.

40% out of 100......wish there wuz a way to erase memories that i no long want to have anymore...click and drag to trash bin type of sh!t

I just woke up.

So... 2/10.

57%. At the moment I'm actually feeling good enough to come back here.

9/10

The self-hatred and hopelessness is overwhelming. I don't know how I managed to get up this morning.

We're here if you need, Mementomori. E-hugs for you


6/10
I r sad =( But I actually feel better now.

6/10

My head hurts. Badly.

wait up so is one out of ten super bad or 10 out of ten????????