There's no dedicated Social Anxiety section on this forum, so I'll just post this thread here.

Seeing as this is a forum aimed at the hikikomori community, how many of you have, or have had, social anxiety disorder?

I've arrived at a point now where I feel that it is impossible to climb out of the hole that social anxiety has dug for me. I am too far gone, and the people around me no longer expect me to say anything, so I make no effort to. It's all too easy now to just be silent all day, since people will generally avoid confronting me.

I also get the impression that social anxiety might be coming across as rudeness to those around me, resulting in me exhibiting what appears to be somewhat stand-offish behaviour. I had a brief encounter with a girl whom I was vaguely familiar with the other day, and in our first conversation ever, she asked me a couple of questions - and eventually made a comment along the lines of "Today's a bad day - I just don't feel like talking to anyone - I bet you know how that feels though" - which could mean that she presumed I am simply anti-social. It should also be noted that I rarely smile or laugh.

Anyway, now that I have told you about me, why not share your own stories about social anxiety? Have you been affected by it? Did you ever escape from the prison it created? How did other people see you, and did you ever tell them about your social anxiety?

I was once (mis-diagnosed) with having social anxiety disorder in the early 2000's. It wasn't until recent years that I discovered that the anxiety I feel (and felt) so strongly around others is/was simply due to me having Asperger's. My social anxiety was at its worst in high-school since there were lots of unsavory types there.

My social anxiety isn't very strong anymore. The only thing that would cause me social anxiety these days would be if I were to run into people I used to know in my 'old' life. Lots of people I used to know actually know about the way I've been living these past few years, so it would be awkward for me to speak to them again.

This is my main problem, i want to be outside and around people more but i m afraid of it. I m so uncomfortable out there it s unbelievable and i can t stand living like this any longer.

Mm...
When I was forced to go to therapy, the people told my parents I had social anxiety.

It's not really bad, but it makes me very quiet cuz I'm afraid of being judged.

The guy in my psychology class said I have a weird, but funny, laugh and now I'm afraid to laugh around people.

It's completely ruined my life.

You re not alone there.

I have social anxiety disorder. I was always very shy, but the fobia started to hinder my life a few years ago. I like to think the worst times are behind me, but that's not really because I've gotten any better, I've just learned to avoid the things that cause me anxiety. Studying in a university is really hard because of this disorder, since the academic world has a lot of expectations. So yeah, that's a bit of my story with social anxiety.

my social anxiety keeps me at home a lot. i feel like i can only go out to places if i have someone there with me, just in case something happens. or maybe it's because i think something will happen if i go out alone.

i moved to a new town a few years ago, and i haven't made any friends at all. my husband has lots of friends from work, and gets invited to restaurants and bbq's all the time, but turns them down a lot because i'm afraid to go. i'm afraid i'll do or say something stupid, and get him fired.

i asked my doctor what i could do to lessen my anxiety, and she told me to volunteer. how the heck am i going to do that if it takes me all day to drum up the courage to go through the drive-thru lane for a burger?

I have social anxiety, but it wasn't really noticed until I entered college. From what I've heard the time before realizing is pretty much what led to my depression, but I think there were hints of it before the social problems started. Right now I'm taking Lexapro, an SSRI. It's supposed to be good for social anxiety, but things still require a lot of effort on my part. This was especially difficult in college since I knew only a handful of people there and became more and more reclusive over time before I left and came back home. I'm starting a different school closer to home, but there really hasn't been a substantial improvement. My therapist keeps pushing for me to get a job, but I've been feeling discouraged about it especially since I was rejected from Wal-Mart. Twice. That's pretty much it so far.

How do I know if I have social anxiety disorder?
I took this test http://www.anxietyhelp.org/information/leibowitz.html and I scored 88, "severe social phobia".

I just took that and got 91 (45 fear and 46 avoidance).

Yeah, I got 95. Doesn't really seems a the most reliable test to me.

I do have very high social anxiety. I have a very hard time talking to people & hate it when people talk to me, which is one of the reasons it's so hard for me to leave the house. This was my score: 59 (fear) + 63 (avoidance) = 122
It's been this way ever since I was a kid. My mom says she remembers me being this way as a toddler, though I only remember it from about four on.

Your score:
54 (fear) + 62 (avoidance) = 116

Some of them were hard to answer, as I found myself stuck between two.. I just went with the lower one of those. This doesn't surprise me, I am well aware that I social phobia. I can't go anywhere in public and be comfortable, all the people and activity just make me really nervous.

My Score
69 (fear) + 66 (avoidance) = 135

The scoring scale:
55-65 Moderate social phobia
65-80 Marked social phobia
80-95 Severe social phobia
Greater than 95 - Very severe social phobia

Your score:
61 (fear) + 63 (avoidance) = 124

If I took this test a year ago, it would've been much higher.

I dropped out of school at 14 because of my social anxiety. I've always been a nervous person, but I physically couldn't make it into school. I somehow just barely dealt with grade school -- but high school was a whole other thing. I feel like I've wasted the last 6 years of my life. All of these years of avoiding have actually made my anxiety worse. I take baby steps here and there like going grocery shopping, or answering the phone -- but I'm not making enough progress in my mind. I'm trying to get back into therapy because it really helped me in my teenage years but something always happens that prevents me from getting help.

It's always the "but what if" or "just in case" thing - you can't even explain what might happen, but you're terrified that it will.

I'm in constant fear of what others think of me, to the point where i'm not even able to make eye-contact with anyone. I feel like anxiety controls my life.

36 (fear) + 51 (avoidance) = 87

A few days ago, my wife and I were walking out of our apartment when our neighbor who lives downstairs spotted us and invited us to a barbecue he was going to be hosting on Halloween. I thought that sounded like it could be fun, and it would be good to get to know the neighbors and maybe make some friends. But when the day of the barbecue came, even though I had wanted to go, I found that I couldn't bring myself to go down there. As more people showed up, I could hear them laughing and carry on down there, and it started to make me feel resentful that I couldn't join them (despite being invited), and I became convinced that they were probably all jerks and wouldn't like me anyway. I thought maybe I'd go see a movie or something instead so I wouldn't have to hear them having a good time, but then I was afraid that the neighbor might see me on my way to the car and either try to invite me in again or be upset that I was skipping his party (both possibilities were terrifying). So I ended up locking myself in the bedroom all night and pretending I wasn't home when some trick-or-treaters came by.

I don't like being like this... most of the time it's fine because I like being alone, but it disturbs me that even in a case like this where I actually want to try to be social, I can't manage to do it because I'm too anxious and uncomfortable and afraid that everyone is silently judging me. This is just one example but it's a constant problem in my life.

Halloween's always been tricky for me. But I've gotten better over the years. I'm actually more afraid that the
neighbors will know I'm home, but not answering because I'm being cheap. So I always answer, and try my
best to smile and wave to the parents in the street, though I dread it.
Doesn't mean I don't pray for rain every Oct. 31st.

My social anxiety was at its worst in my teens and 20s. I'm 35 now and have steady job, but it's still
difficult, because other than work, it's hard for me to bring myself to go anywhere. Eventually, the people that
you meet that call and ask you to go places stop calling, understandably.

That's how I feel. I WANT to be social, but I get scared at the thought of people judging me.
But Knots is right, people eventually stop calling.

totally agree !

my score on that test is 115.

I can't really go out to places with my friends anymore because I feel like a miserable overweight tag along. Starting to function in the outside world less and less because i'm frozen with paranoia from what people are secretly thinking about me. Becoming a very solemn, lonely person.

Your score:
22 (fear) + 31 (avoidance) = 53

I don't have much fear because I know very well what is likely to happen, I have enough life experience for that. I simply avoid because I KNOW things on average don't go great with people. No need to force the issue. Once you burn your finger on the toaster, you know not to touch it again. Need not be perpetually afraid of it ever after though, if you have the ability to learn and adapt future behaviour.