It seems like whenever I build up confidence, someone, for whatever reason, has to remind me that I've wasted half a decade of my life.

I know I've been living a fucked up lifestyle, but when someone else makes me "aware" of it, it hits me hard and makes me almost feel like crying.

For the past few years, I've been trying to block out everything. When people give me a dose of "reality", I freak out.

I wish people wouldn't do this shit. You know, I wouldn't say to someone "Hey, remember when your wife cheated on you?" to a guy who had his wife cheat on him...

I definitely don't ENJOY being reminded of what my life is like, however it's not something I'd ever hold against someone. Controlling my emotions in front of people is as much for their sake as it is for my own, for that reason i maintain a solid act whenever I interact with others in a physically social environment.

After all there's no way i can know what their intentions are if/when they remind me, or wether or not they even realize that they've done so in the first place.

Originally it hurt to be reminded of my current situation, however I've made it a habbit of mine to put aside a lot of time each day for self reflection and contemplation. Over time i began to view everything and everyone differently, as it stands i find it very difficult to find fault with anyone in any situation. The way that i react to people also effects them, my emotions evoke their own emotional responses, my actions cause their reactions.

I understand why it hurts and that the fault lies with myself and not with them. For this reason i never feel ill will towards someone for reminding me of the truth.
In hindsight i suppose that those incidents have turned into a boon rather than a burden.

It's similar to road rage for example. It's easy to criticize someone for seemingly acting like a jerk, however you have no idea what their personal circumstances are like. Perhaps they were just fired, maybe they've been having an intense emotional time of their own. Being quick to judge and thus react to people can leave both yourself and them feeling hurt and angry.


So in response to the original topic, no, i don't hate it when people remind me that I'm 'fucked up'

no, I don't care.

That's strange, I actually feel discomfort when people tell me I will be allright and that I am not ill. It took me ages to admit to myself that I have a proper condition and I feel with that I have only layed the foundation for getting better.
It is not that I enjoy being crazy, or that I wish to stay that way. It just made me feel even more uneasy not knowing what was going on inside me (well not that I do now, but I've made some progress).

Also: I hate it when people tell me to get off my meds.

I hate when people make fun of me for the stuff that is wrong, or laugh at me, or put me down and remind me of all the trouble I put them through. Everytime I go to pick up my medication, my dad reads out the prices to me. Everytime he gets a bill for something he always tells me and says "I don't have money for this shit." It's not MY fucking fault that I have all of this. I'm trying my best to get better, Ir eally am. And even when I try people say that I'm not trying. I hate that. I hate when people say I'm not trying. Who are they to tell me if I am trying or not? Who are they to tell peoples' best interests?

Humans are disgusting. I hate humans. I hate everyone, but not individually. I hate how there is a "normal". Just because I don't act like everyone else or look like everyone else or whore myself around and cake on layers of make up, people stare. People make up rumors about me, but for what? I hate when people get mad at me for stuff that I can't help like getting mad is going to help me learn. It will NOT help me learn. I understand I can't use my disorders as an excuse for everything I do, but sometimes I can't help but do some of the things I do. My mom keeps yelling at me because I always have to tap my feet or shake my leg or something. She says I look stupid. She says that if it weren't for my disorders and medication I'd be normal.

It makes me feel like shit. I'm sorry that I can't be the perfect person. If trying my hardest isn't enough, then I don't know what else to do.

Yeah I hate it, it's a real weak spot for me the way I am and the way my life has turned out. I really consider it a low blow for someone to mention it. When I get into a bad arguement with a family member is usually the only time somebody says something, they'll use it against me. Like my dad for instance will say something like, "you're not normal", one time I got into an arguement with one of my sisters and he came out with "maybe you're jealous of her because she's got a job, ect". Fucking ridiculous. My favourite is when they threaten me with the thought of putting me in some kind of 'home'.

I respect that and I would say I feel the same. I actually cop myself from time to time wishing that the LHC will cause a stable black hole (even though I know it won't) that will suck up this whole planet and tear everything on it to pieces in a matter of minutes. Humanity is a good example of an evolutionary experiment gone wrong. You can't do it any worse. A massive recall campaign for this shitty product has long been due.


Well if this isn't bloody rich! First hand, it's stating the obvious: Of course you would be, what majority defines as normal, if it weren't for your disorders that need to be treated by medication. I reckon this is not a lifestyle choice you made. It's allmost like saying: "Can't you try not bein crazy?" (I get that a lot recently, not by my mom, but from other people.)

If I could say any country is a shame, it would be America. I hate people who praise this fucked country. I hate people who praise this fucked planet. I hate people who praise Gods. I hate humans. They are all fucked.

Well, most of the countries I visited weren't too much better. I do still like Finnland. It's quiet there and the people are friendly. Lots of amazing nature! But I guess every government is rotten somehow, as they have started to built more nuclear power plants there.

I think North Korea is better than America, in my opinion.

Dunno, I've never been there. What I heard about the conflicts between the north and the south didn't shine a too bright light on either of them.
I like a lot of North Korean culture. Chon Wook Park is one of the most amazing filmmakers and storywriters I have ever seen!

I guess I should put it in different words, I think Iraq is better than America.

People will argue that America is free and all of that shit but America is so unoriginal and dependent and stupid. The people in America are ignorant. They are all fucked.

Well yeah, it is only a land of freedom for some because they bought this freedom with the suffering of others.
I like a lot about your countrys culture though. There iloads of excellent filmmakers, storywriters, painters, musicians and comic book artists over there. Also many many smart scientific heads.

America sucks ass. Fuck America, I hate it. There are no great people here.

Hmm, you're there though, seems like a contradiction.

Same here.

Well, it's more like, everyone tells me l should be normal and that l'm okay and that l shouldn't be this way because l'm normal. lt really traumatized me and made me ignore my condition to the point where l'd always wind up at the hospital.

l try not to ignore it. The only person that reminds me that l'm messed up is my mother...and she's almost always with me. Sigh.

I definitely hate it. I think it's rude & cruel & I'm sure the people mean it that way when they say it.

People who put me down for the way I do things are very ignorant and it pisses me off. Even my best friend occasionally does it. Then again, I've never talked to anyone IRL about the problems I have, but it still bothers me a lot when people have to point out my "quirks." I even lose sleep occasionally just thinking about the thing the person said to me. Those are times when I tell myself, "I want to die." Of course I don't really mean it, it's more so a vocal impulse than anything else.

Most people don't say I'm messed up. They just accept me the way I am. I have a good life.

If people do make such judgments against me I will enter into a level-headed debate with them until they give in and retract their statement. Or if the insult-thrower is just a complete jerk I ignore them. I tend to annoy them when I do that because I don't lost my temper despite the crap they fling at me (which is what they wanted so that they can say "Ah ha! See? You're screwed up! What are you so upset about? Being defensive now?"). Never lose your temper, it fulfills what the assholes wanted.

I'm nothing great, I'm just a pissed off teenager whom has more mental disorders than she has teeth. And I have a full mouth of teeth.

I hope it doesnt seem like I'm putting words into fens mouth here, but us (Australians) are always being told off about or 'love it or leave it' mentality when it comes to criticism of our country (or anything really).

Ultimately I would agree with it, however there are some cases, such as Norikon's, where it isn't applicable. Not actually knowing Norikon's situation, I can only guess that she really has no choice as to where she lives. I think she is still at highschool, not yet an adult, and as such, has no actual means to live somewhere else. There is also the fact that (I'm assuming) all of her friends and most of her family are in America, and as much as she hates it, it isn't that easy to leave.

Same goes if there was a child stuck in an abusive family. It's all good to tell them to just leave, but there are other things to consider that would be stopping them.
So yeah, Love it or leave it, if you can. If you cant leave it, then unfortunately you have to find other ways to deal with it.

As for teeth... I really need to get mine checked out... They have been stained by the excessive amounts of chocolate I consume Also I'm a lazy brusher. I havent had mine checked since middle of highschool and I'm really not looking forward to it (not to mention the huge bill!)

I don't need to get reminded I'm messed up.

Let's say that you were standing next to a large cube, no matter where you stand you will never be able to see every face of that cube at the same time. Naturally after checking each side of the cube we form a mental image of it's shape by making assumptions about what every face must look like regardless of wether or not we can currently see them.

This is the limitation of us as beings who live and move in three dimensions. We aren't able to move freely through time, and as such our perspective is always bound to three dimensions. It's for this reason that we will never be able to see every face and every side of that cube at any one time. What you see from where you stand will never be the same as what I can see from where i stand. Likewise while you can only assume to know what's visible from my side I will always be able to see what you can not, just as you will always be able to see what I can not.

A person does not have to see value in themselves for others to be able to find value in them.
To me you are far more valuable as a person than you give yourself credit for.

This is the truth that i can see from my side.

I like the analogy!