Wow. I really should take lessons from you.
My first semester i got a 3.2, but by the end of the year, i only have a 2.8 (or 2.73 according to the HOPE which i lost because of that)

I did dual enrollment for the last 3 years of highschool so it was pretty stressful, but more in a "not satisfying what the teachers wanted from me" kind of way.

I finished my first year a month ago (though my final grade was low, I still at least passed.) and I have to say it was really hard. All the dorms have kind of an apartment setting, but i still had to share it all with 5 other girls. I was always extremely nervous around them. Even trying to walk pass them to leave for class or going to the bathroom was hard because it felt like their eyes were on me the entire time. What was worse was that they were extremely social so they always had people over. The people in my classrooms were sometimes very annoying and i have learned to go to the cafeteria on certain hours because if i didn't, it would be so crowded, i would sometimes have trouble breathing. My only satisfactions were the rare days where i would have the entire place to myself sometimes for 2 days straight.

Even so, I need the education if i want to live the way i want to live, so i am going back in the fall and i plan to do better academically. The best thing is that though I still have to share the living space, i get my very own single bedroom. The one thing that always get me through the day is now knowing that i can get away from it all in my own room.

O.O sorry if i wrote too much. Basically, I never thought of having a "fear" of college because whether i was scared or not, I had to go since my future only occurs if i go, but if i really did not have to go (like i won enough money to support me for my whole life or something), would i still go? No way!

i'm starting the criminal justice diploma program at my local college this septmber. i can see how you could be scared, considering the change of environment. my biggest fear is bullying, not sure how big of a problem that is here, in canada, but my cousin from the states says it's quite bad. god it would suck so bad if some ass holes starts harassing me, dont want to go through what happened in high school agian .

I thought Canada has a reputation of having friendly people, but usually the difference between high school and college is quite large, especially depending on who you are and what your studying, i had to deal with assholes in school also, and when i started college, which was even 2 minutes from my high school, and i only met the kindest people, and none of the type of people that where dicks in school where around, I was so scared the first day of college, i had a migraine, i couldn't even find the class, it started off so bad but situations have a habit of being a whole lot better than you expect.

I'm supposed to do some mature student program either next semester or the year after it. I told my dad that I think I'll have to socialize and he said I don't have to. I said I'll need to room with someone, and he said I'll have my own apartment. I'm still worried about it but maybe this is the change that will help me.

I think that while your worries are justified, some mandatory (hopefully minimal) socializing is a small price to pay in the long run for your career goals.

I just hope I can move from school to my apartment easily with minimum contact. You're right though it's something everyone needs to face to get somewhere.

Aconcit - Personally, I think that if people were "forced" to face these necessary struggles, they would be much better off in the long run. It is being able to avoid things indefinitely that really exacerbates the problems.

I'm going to college soon.

I'm scaaared.

Good luck Soulless! I really hope it goes well for you.

Yeah, I understand. I was hoping if I'm actually moving on with life, then that will be good enough. I don't know how much I want to stop avoiding people.

Hell I don't even know if I'm sure on what I want to do in life. I like the idea of software and game design, but I need to get out a lot too. I'd hate to be cooped up inside an office when the time comes.




Me too. Hopefully it will be fine!

Try a little bit of everything, as long as you don't compromise yourself in the process. Then you'll truly know what you find the most rewarding endeavour. Any experience you have now can be adapted into something useful later, as long as you can continue to think creatively.

I'm like you and could never picture myself cooped up inside an office, forced to be friendly with people I don't respect; so aim for something you are likely to find some interest in, that's what I would do. I want to go back to college and study Science not because I think I need to go to college to study Science, but it will allow me to do that with institutional backing which is obviously oh so important. What I would actually do with it afterwards leaves me a little bit nonplussed, however. I know that dedicating time to study something which I'm keen on will give me self respect anyway, so in a way it hardly matters what comes afterwards. I will be able to speak more authoritatively regardless.