It's a real problem for me especially when I try to make everyone happy. I know I can't, but I usually try regardless. Somehow I still manage to get yelled at. *sigh*

How about anyone else?

It was one of my biggest triggers these past few months. I almost failed the first half of my school year and I felt like a fuck up to my parents. I've been there for years, though.

i don't feel like a failure, i know i'm one. every so often i have one of those crushing periods of reflection and i realize that there were no other options for me, that this or something akin to it was all that existed for me.

I've been doing online high school for awhile since I can stay home but I still get social anxiety with the teachers there. I usually end up giving up at some point near the end of the semester. So being 19 with less than half my credits does make me label myself as a failure.

Yeah, I often see myself as a failure.

I just can't even do a thing until the end. It's always getting broken in the middle for whatever reason.
My motivation is like an AC - up fast, down fast, up fast, down fast...

*sigh*

I don't believe in the concept of "failures".

My life is shit right now, but it could get better.

I agree with Chair.

I've often thought of myself as a failure, and had plenty of good reasons to. But I was also too depressed to really look at the big picture, consider all my options, and summon the courage to better my life to the best of my ability, one step at a time.

It hasn't been easy. And the progress towards NOT having lots of reasons to consider myself a failure has been frought with failures. But I keep moving on and getting stronger.

Life isn't over until you're dead.

without failure how is success measured?

for me personal failure is defined by the inability to reach my goals for whatever reasons.

Yes, very often.

Quite frequently actually...

"Failure" and "success" are human made concepts - they can't be measured. What's a "failure" or "success" to someone may not be to another person. To me, the word "failure" reminds me of another meaningless term - "loser". Does anyone really know what a "loser" is?
Anyway:

You've claimed before that you only can get minimum wage jobs, and that you'll probably never go through college - these things don't make you a "failure". Some people think you can't get good jobs with bad credentials, but that's not true; harder, but not impossible. Still, some people are content with minimum wage jobs. If you're not content with the money you're making, you could perhaps try to do something on the side (no, I don't mean selling drugs, even though lots of money can be made that way...)

Your "dreams" of becoming what you want to be aren't shattered - you're young. I know people who've gotten college degrees in their 50's.

You're probably labeling yourself as a "failure" because you feel depressed. I used to do the same thing when I was down. I now think it's silly to call yourself this.

I could be locked up in a prison for years, and I'd still stay hopeful - I'd refuse to call myself a "failure", because I don't believe in the concept. Just because you can't reach your goals doesn't make you a failure.

You must realize that a significant amount of people live in third world countries. The unemployment rate can often be 50% or higher, and an extremely small amount of the population ever attends college/university. Maybe comparing your situation to the situation of these people will make you feel better. If you call yourself a "failure", then what are these people? Lots of these people are unfortunate, sure, but they can be happy, and there's always a chance that their lives will change significantly. They don't sit around calling themselves "failures". I met a guy from Rwanda a few years ago who spent a large portion of his life in a very poor part of the country. I can't remember what his profession was, but he became very wealthy, and his job was one that required him to move all over the world. I doubt that he ever dreamed that he'd be rich one day, but he likely stayed hopeful.

Anyway, if you were making lots of money, would you no longer consider yourself as being a "failure"?

Good question, and I think everyone has to answer it for themself, as independently as possible.

However, I often think that "success" and "failure" are absurd concepts; everything is really a mix of both. To me, all that matters is how you experience life. I mean, your experience of living is all you've got for certain, right?

So I just work on trying to have a better experience of life overall, knowing that plenty of unpleasant experiences will be part of it. I think the more you suffer, the more you appreciate pleasure, so it all has a nice way of balancing out . . . if you think that way.



And your inability to reach your goals can be measured only in the context of your current circumstances.

Life is unpredictable, and full of too many possibilities to consider at once. Your state of mind plays a big role in what you consider possible, and hence, effectively, your options at the time.

Anyway, if you were making lots of money, would you no longer consider yourself as being a "failure"?

i didn't know we were speaking of success / failure solely in it's financial use, Chair. i live in las vegas, a city where you need a high school diploma and nothing more in most cases, a city where cocktail waitresses make two hundred a night average and strippers can make a grand in one night. when i can work at night then more opportunities will open up for me. we aren't hurting for money and honestly i'm just keeping this job now to save up for something expensive for myself. i'm not thinking of money or what type of job i can or cannot have when i say i have failed myself. i could be happy making min wage for now if it was for a company i like.

Ivory i agree with most of what you're saying here but for the idea that suffering creates an enhanced appreciation for pleasure. i don't need to be dehydrated to appreciate cool drinks of water, you know?

I constantly feel like a failure. I feel like I have failed my whole family and everyone around me. I constantly feel guilty of being a bad person. Nothing i do is ever good enough or even good at all. I feel worthless and useless and nothing I do is ever right. I feel like I should be dead or something. But I guess sometimes loneliness just gets to me. I hope to be with a hikki mate someday and live my life with him alone.

They should stick a photo of me on the front of failblog. lol

I think failure is relative to the individual. I doubt many people would describe me as a failure. They'd say I was boring, a loner or sad. They'd point out that I have a job and income which seems to be the mark of whether or not you're a failure in modern society. However I judge my success on achieving my own goals and so far I've achieved very few of them. I admit perhaps I set high standards which I can't possibly acheive, but even the simple social relationships people take for granted seem impossible for me, so I do feel like I'm failing at living my life as I'd like to.

Yeah. But I enjoy cool water a lot more when I am dehydrated.

This is just my way of thinking. We're different, and I respect that.

I feel like a failure if I get a game over in something. It's simply because I've gamed for a large amount of my life, I feel bad if I screw up.

I know that feeling all too well. I've been playing games for longer than I can remember... no joke.

When I get game overs I feel like, "What the hell? I've spent my whole life doing this and I can't even be good at it? What's wrong with me?"

But then I go back and stomp the game and I feel better.

yes... yes, I do. the way my mom, her boyfriend, and my brother treat me most of the time doesn't help any...

I had a good friend who always assured me everything was okay, and I used to believe her, but when I lost her, it only made me feel like even more of a failure... T__T

lolz I third that. Even though it is just entertainment, I get so wrapped up sometimes.

All the time over nothing. Even if it's just misunderstanding someone, I feel that I've failed as a human being.

I agree with Chair's viewpoint here. It angers me to see people allow these vague constructs that society places on people to define themselves. The values of society are ultimately shallow. I know it's hard when you can't escape the innumerable dipsh*ts in the world with their unwanted opinions.

I understand that the word is a creation of society but in this world the view of society is very important. There's no alternative to living under society's views other than death because eventually you have to face the world. I believe personality is subjective and that's why I feel most comfortable in my own home with nobody to lable me as a failure but most people outside my bubble have a set image of what they expect from people. In other words I believe I'm not a failure in my own eyes but in the view of society who values expansion and where the word has an objective meaning, I'm a failure.

I don't think going out and getting a McJob makes one any more of a "winner" and less of a failure. Your existence is still equally pointless being out in the world as it is being shut in. Unless you are able to find something to do with your life that YOU truly love doing there is little meaning. Society is about reproduction and maintaining the status quo. It's meaningless. Screw what society "thinks". The opinions of individual human beings are the only opinions that should matter.

This is my definition of failure: