Define a failure.

...And there lies the problem.

No, I succeed at everything I do, unless I don't have full control over it.

Yes.

Lets define failthen.

Every. Single. Day.

Quoted for truth.

I am a failure. No doubt about it. I have failed at being a normal productive member of society.

Yes I do. I do not allways think I'm fully responsible for it, but so is no one else and that makes it even worse.

Well like they say, there's allways worse. If it is any help to you: I am 25 and I didn't even get half of my Credits before I dropped out of university two years ago. If I'm very lucky I got about 10 (not that this would even matter).

I'm not trying to harness any sympathy for this (something I rarely ever see a value within), I simply thought if it might be comforting to you tthat someone wasted his live even more than you did. If my faillure is any sort of encouragement for anyone else, it possibly serves a quantum of a purpose (if that's of any importance though, I doubt it).

PS: I like your Avatar Cheatar1. When I was younger and even more stupid than I am today, I used to write that phrase on one cigarette of every pack I bought. It was a silly and childish thing to do, but I still felt joyful everytime I took out the never-knows-best-smoke by chance.

I can't speak yor everyone with my condition but thoughts like that usually do not help me at all. They make things worse (I've been using this word a lot recently, I guess). If people in poorer countries strife to be more than they start off as, even with the disadvantage of being very unfortunate (and Rwanda is a good example since we are talking about a fourth world country), than what does that say about my behaviour? What gives me the right to complain, to resignate and to leech of others when people who have it worse work with every fibre of their being to earn their worth in this existence?


Ah, you got to the core of the whole thing. No, of course financial success is not an indicator for your worth as a living being. It is a huge problem that characteristics like helpfulness, sympathy, tolerance, sensibility, love etc. have little to none pracitcal value placed in them by about any society on this world. There is a simple reason for this: They are not profitable, and money is about the only thing that can ensure the safety of your future. Nevertheless, social communities do strongly depend on people doing things for others only out of good will. It is none the less nearly impossible to put a worth in money on these acts of kindness, and that's why they usually stay substantialy unrewarded. You can certainly be a "failure" at raising money, but have a lot of success making this planet a better world, whilst you can drown in your own wealth when at the same time representing a filthy disgusting waste of matter (in terms of social worth) for exploiting your workers, aggressively destroying your competitors and poisening our environment.
So does this make me less of a "failure" in terms of my inability to work a job and finish my education? No. There is plenty of people out there who do horrible jobs with gritted teeth and still put a LOT more time and effort in making others happy for no profit whatsoever, than I would ever do. I guess I could, and I guess it'd even make me happy, but every day I procrastinate, I keep being a burden to others, I keep leeching off this society and all I ever make is excuses. And this is what disgusts me. It makes me hate myself for my weakness and impotence. I cannot even use all this free time I give myself by being socially inept to help people in need. All I ever do is make them sad.

Once again, seeing that someone screws up a lot more than you did might be a comfort.
I have achieved nothing regarding you first mentioned aspect of life. I have no job, no mentionable degree and I didn't go to university for over a year (I rarely leave my room for that matter).
None the less I still fucked up every last one of the three proper relationships I ever had. Why? I was too selfish, too egocentric, too locked up in my own head with my own problems. I said things that would have been an instant reason for most people to leave me, on the spot, without even properly remembering them. That's how twisted my sick mind and my rotten heart work. They do not contain room for others, as my own ego is so big and troubled that it needs all the capacities it can get for it's enormous struggle with itself.
Yes it might be true that I don't have as big a problem of chatting up girls as a lot of other people out there. I might be able to seem quite charming and sensitive. But in most of those encounters I still feel empty inside.

Well, "Society" (when seen as a single organism) does not really place concepts on people. There is no ultimate enemy called Society that hunts down a minority titled as "failures". People put these values on other people because they are the easiest to recognise. They are the easiest to measure and the inabilty of "failures" to reach a materialistic goal and ultimately become a financial burden to the community and therefore to them angers people who have achieved these goals through hard work (and most of the time virtually rightfully so). Not to forget that humans who suck at achieving anything than financial success usually put the most value on that aspect in life because they are ashamed to admit that they are socially inept.
But to mark these values as shallow is a bit of an egoistic thing to do. Most people agree on putting this high value on this aspect of life and since a democratic government is supposed to represent what the majority wants, that seems like a rather fair treatment of the matter. Furthermore, to call the opinions of a class defined as dipsh*ts unwanted, when you have allready established their numbers as innumerable is a bit of a contradiction. You see, it does not matter if you think you opinion is more logical and ethical than that of the majority of people. You still loose. Let's say I (who tends to be a bit of a smartass when it comes to language) am locked in a room with you and Chair and no one is getting out as long as we did not have a proper discussion about the furnitures inside this room. You and Chair start to mix up terms for the things placed around us: you call the chair table, the table stove and so forth. I, however refuse to partake in this siliness and continue to use the proper description of things. It does not matter. I still loose since I am outnumbered. No one of us will get out as long as we don't agree on a single supply of signs and odds are that the person who needs to do the compromise is me. And the funny part of it is, this is fair. Because from the moment on you two decided to mix up terms up to the moment when we all walk through the door, the words used by you where correct while I preffered to speak in a gibberish tongue.

Don't get me wrong mate, I really do not intend to patronize, look down upon, or make a fool out of you. I just wanted to say that it's rather risky to critisize other peoples opinions while propagating your own, even though both points of view have no measurable value that marks them as right or wrong, or even better or worse. You risk to become the very thing you hate.

I agree with you. And I am very ashamed to admit that you already summed up what I wrote in my last post. And even with very fewer words that is!

It seems I'm rather chatty today, wich is very unusal for me, especially on the internet. Give me this last post and I'll shut up for the rest of the day. Excuse me for having to hear all my rambling about things.

I think what you are talking about is Individualist anarchism. The problem with that concept is that it works only so long as every individual of a community at any given time makes sure not to interfere with the live of others in a negative fashion. This shouldn't even happen by accident since it could be misinterpreted as evil intend. The odds of something like this to work are obviously extremely low and therefore a society like this is likely to destroy itself within a very short time.
It may be that existence is pointless to begin with, it may be that hapiness only comes from doing something you love. But still: most people do not get the luxury and/or opportunity to find something they really love. They still have to seek shitty employments at McJob or they will finally leech of others and therefore make their lives more miserable. The only way out of this dilemma is death, but unfortunately allmost every single being hast the impregnable urge to live.

Once again, I am sorry if I seem precocious or arrogant, but this is all said in good intend, I assure you.

I feel that I've failed at practically everything. I didn't get good grades in school, I couldn't get into university, I haven't been able to get a job, I don't have friends, I don't have a partner, I'm not social and outgoing and energetic, I live with my parent. Maybe for some people things like those don't make one a failure but for me they do. All I'd like is to be able to full-fill some of these basic needs and expectations, and as long as I lack them... I am failing.

Grades...school....jobs.... they're all concepts we humans have created in society to build fabricated status symbols. It's a way to form a hierarchy amongst ourselves now that the primitive strength and childbearing abilities have lost their priorities in civilization today.

Don't look at the big picture because it's very overwhelming. Whenever I do that (which is often), I go catatonic and feel numb from the overbearing expectations and obligations.

I feel lost....and that I'm going to fail. I don't feel like I've failed yet. I believe I've made mistakes that had to be made. I've made mistakes that have shattered me. I've made mistakes that have helped me grow. I'm too young to say I've already failed before I've even began. I'm turning 19 next month. A lot of you are around that age. Doesn't mean you've failed.

As that say, mistakes build character.

when i used to live with my dad he would tell me everyday and often that i wuz a "piece of shit"....so much that it stuck with me...nowadays i don't cares anymore failure or not....its your life live it how you want to you only get one try so make the most of it.....even failures have the right to live it up....so do i feel like a failure? yep but hay who cares right?

That's a cool outlook.

Constantly.

I look at all the advantages I was given in life, and how I squander them away in sadness while so many others would just about murder to take my place...and I feel horribly, horribly guilty. Sometimes I wish I could give one of these people with drive my life, and that I could go to whatever dark place they came from and just fade into the noise. They could make something precious out of this life. Something that could help people. I know I could too...that I should...but most of the time, I'm just too depressed to even attempt it.

But I try to keep myself above water, for the most part, and though I never end up doing much myself, I try to encourage others and give them a smile and a headpat to keep them going. If I can't help myself, at least I can do my best to help others.

damn i feel the same way....you stole the words str8 outta my mouth...wish i didn't relate to whut you said so much.....

In terms of the conventional bourgeois understanding of success and failure, it's not so much a case of feeling like I'm a failure as it is knowing that I'm a failure. Fortunately, I have far too much imagination for worldly success. And fortunately I have far too much intelligence to give a damn about worldly success.

yes i do.....somebody shoot me...i don't mind if you do as long as you don't miss.....cuz if you miss i'll get you back....